Archive for the ‘stress’ Tag

Another Year, Another Un-Birthday   Leave a comment

From https://www.maryo.co/day-24-40-days-of-thankfulness-2/

 


Today I am so thankful that I had my best friend, my “sister” for so many years.  We shared so much together, good times, bad times, birthdays, secrets, hackers, PITAs.

I think it was 2 or 3 years ago now when we went to see Hamilton in NYC.

We got to our location (Hamilton in NYC) faster than expected and walked around the block.  I was stunned when we saw Cafe Un Deux Trois!

un-deux

 

Cafe Un Deux Trois has a special memory for me.  November 2, 2003, Michael decided to run the New York Marathon.  We went to NY to see him run.  (He finished in 4:21:57.  The average for males that year was 4:28:56).

marathon

From good-old Wikipedia:

The New York City Marathon (branded TCS New York City Marathon and formerly branded ING New York City Marathon for sponsorship reasons) is an annual marathon (42.195 km or 26.219 mi) that courses through the five boroughs of New York City. It is the largest marathon in the world, with 50,304 finishers in 2013. Along with the Boston Marathon and Chicago Marathon, it is among the pre-eminent long-distance annual running events in the United States and is one of the World Marathon Majors.

My best friend, Alice, and her brother (David) were living in Brooklyn and they decided to meet us in Manhattan on Saturday night.  Michael and a friend went to a comedy show while Alice, David, Tom and I walked around Times Square, just talking.  We turned down a side street and saw… Cafe Un Deux Trois.  We decided to go in to eat.

I remember nothing about the meal.  But, at the next table was Ben Gazzara,  Gena Rowlands, Peter Bogdanovitch and 3-4 others I didn’t recognize.  After about half an hour, Carol Kane came in, too.  It turned out that Ben Gazzara was in a one man show across the street which had just opened: Nobody Don’t Like Yogi.  All this made the meal very exciting.  

For the last several years, every time we’ve been near Times Square, I’ve looked down the side streets for this restaurant and never saw it again until this day.

A very nice memory of Alice.

 

 

bd-alice

 

Another birthday is here and I’ve now passed you age-wise. 😦  I had always taken such delight being able to say that I was the younger one.  Not any more 😦

 

Each year, the non-birthday-girl would be planning and plotting online, as well as real-life, surprises.  We had hand-made wrapping paper and all sorts of exotic and non-exotic gifts.  Right now, I’m wearing a cozy robe from a zillion years ago.

 

Way back in 1998, when I was learning web design, I posted a whole mini-site for that birthday.  Unfortunately, HTML code no longer allows for the music to play, but I had carefully thought out tunes for each day.  The page titles aren’t showing, either.

  • The main page title was “Happy Millennium Birthday, Alice!” and played a simple Happy Birthday  
  • The theme to Perry Mason aka “Peri MasonPause” on the “Flora”  page
  • the “Born” page had the theme to Alice’s Restaurant with no special title
  • the “Robert Redford” page had The Way We Were.  The title was “To Alice, from Bob (with lust)”
  • the “musician and his music” page was Bach’s Toccata and Fugue and the title was “Happy Bachday, Alice!”
  • the “flowers” page was The Rose with no special title

See that site here: http://www.oconnormusic.org/aliceBD/birthday.htm

 

The last page of that site was particularly important.  I’d emailed all of Alice’s past guest speakers and other PS members and compiled this list of great wishes: http://www.oconnormusic.org/aliceBD/guests.htm

We’d be up at 12:01 am, posting wishes, decorating message boards and doing the final touches for websites.

turbanIn 2003, I’d apparently posted a picture of Flora Dora (again!) and Alice responded:

MaryO, what can I say other than that it was a wonderful and beautiful surprise to see my guest announcement area turned into a beautiful, sparkling birthday greeting — and Flora Dora, Power Surge’s mascot and RR — but especially your beautiful wishes.

I responded:

After all these years, it’s getting harder and harder to come up with new ideas for how to do an online surprise. There have been a variety of different things for different birthdays, but I have to keep you guessing   I hope that you don’t mind that I’m holding the announcement area hostage for a little longer.

I’m sure that many of the newer people don’t know who Flora Dora is, but she’s an essential part of Power Surge so she have to be included somehow – kinda like inviting your maiden aunt to Thanksgiving 🙂 Of course, RR is welcome – anytime! I’m so glad that I could make an online surprise for you again this year – maybe I should start planning for NEXT year already.

I hope we share many more birthdays together as the close friends we’ve become over the years.

On a more serious side, you’re very welcome for the “beautiful wishes”.  Sometimes, words fail me and I don’t do things justice, but you and Power Surge have changed my life in so many ways that go beyond “simple” menopause issues. When I first came to Power Surge on AOL, I was a confirmed lurker, reading only, never posting.

The first chat I tried to hide out until you asked me a question, encouraging me to talk. This was all so scary for me, communicating with others – online or off. I can say with confidence, that I’m no longer a lurker on the boards and in the chats like I was, and that was all your doing. Thanks so much for that!

Now I just have to work on my real life lurkership! The knowlege I got here in Power Surge, even when I was lurking, helped me so much with my menopause, my symptoms, my everyday life. Like most everyone else, I learned about the way to help my meno symptoms and I’m so thankful of that, that I could be feeling better.

When my husband was very sick, close to death, my first December in PS, I wouldn’t post, but I would come home from the hospital and read everything that other people were posting. It seemed so great to me, and it was such a comfort to me to know that everyone was out there. I recognized people’s names and enjoyed “listening” to the banter and chatter, and that gave me something other than the hospital and my own worries to think about. No matter what the time of day was, I could always read and see that things were ok with the world, and know that we were going to survive this. What a wonderful community Power Surge is!

Things have come along way since then. My husband made it, thanks to a skilled surgeon and a LOT of prayer. And I gradually changed, too. I’m obviously not afraid to post anymore, or go to chats, and I really have you to thank for that. Over the years there have been many changes, the boards have moved, been started again from scratch, updated, all kinds of things, as have the chats, but one thing remains clear and unchanged – and that Power Surge isn’t just another “website”. It is a true community for women in midlife, something we can gain daily strength from. (sorry about the preposition!)

And it’s all because of you, Dearest Alice Stamm. Thank you so much, and I hope it was a wonderful birthday – you deserve the very best!

Hugs and thanks from the bottom of my heart! Mary

From the message boards in 2004:

online-friend

From 2005:

We have decided to let you accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old again.
If you want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks, that’s great.
If you want to think M&Ms are better than money, because you can eat them, they are calorie-free (today only!).
If you want to lie under a big Oak tree next summer and run a lemonade stand with your friends (and fellow Surgettes) on a hot summers day, we’ll give you a voucher.
That summer-time voucher is also good for walking on the beach and thinking of the sand between your toes and the prettiest seashell you can find. Or you can spend the afternoon climbing trees and riding your bike.
We are returning you to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, addition tables and simple nursery rhymes. But that didn’t bother you, because you didn’t know what you didn’t know and you didn’t care. When all you knew was to be happy because you didn’t know all the things that should make you worried and upset.
You’re going to go to school and have snack time, recess, gym and field trips.
You’ll be so happy, nothing will make you upset.
We’re going to let you think that the world is fair. That everyone in it is honest and good…that anything is possible.
For today, you’re going to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by little things once again, returned to the days when reading was fun.
No worries about time, bills, websites that crash, guest chats where the guest can’t get in, excess email, time….No more worry about computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, aches, pains, doctor visits or illness.
We’re going to help you believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, health, dreams, the imagination, mankind and making angels in the snow.
You’re going to be 6 again, for today (and probably some of us will want to join you!). From all of us…

QUOTE (Dearest @ Nov 10 2005, 09:23 AM)

Thank you all for your warm and wonderful birthday wishes.

A very special thank you to my friend, MaryO, for the beautiful greeting, for including Power Surge’s mascot, Flora Dora at the top of the screen — and especially for allowing me to be six again even if only for a day 🙂

And I said:

You know, you can always apply for an extension of the day being 6. Click here to apply.

Glad you had a great birthday and much-needed vacation. If you want to extend either of those, please let me know and I’ll see if I can locate an extension for either of those.

Happy Post-Birthday!

In 2006, Alice said:

Thank you ALL for your wonderful birthday wishes and beautiful sentiments about how much Power Surge means to and has done for you. That makes all the years of work that’s gone into this “community” worthwhile (with, perhaps, the exception of dealing with HACKERSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!) 🙂

I don’t know some of you very well. Others I know well and have established lovely friendships with. You know who you are. Thank you, too, for your beautiful flowers, birthday cards, online greetings, etc.

And thank you, my dear friend, MaryO, for starting this topic and for being the sister I never had 🙂 I’m so glad I impulsively decided to give myself a birthday present last month and called saying, “C’mon, let’s go to see Streisand!!” That was the highlight of my/our year. To be sitting so close to her, and SO close to and watching people mingle like: Bill and Hillary Clinton, Lauren Bacall, James Brolin, Katie Couric, Stephen Sondheim, Rosie O’Donnell, Sting, Hugh Jackman, Steven Spielberg, Regis and Joy Philbin, Sara Jessica Parker — and many, many others.

It was like the first time we met a few years ago and stopped into a restaurant [Cafe Un Deux Trois] only to find a few minutes later that Gena Rowlands, Ben Gazzara, Peter Bogdonovich, Carol Kane and others, whose names elude me at the moment, came in and sat at the table next to us. Knowing me, I had to go over and talk to them, especially Gena Rowlands, who’s still beautiful and elegant and was so gracious.

The past few years, starting with my emergency surgery and all the ensuing complications, my mom’s fall down the stairs and subsequent need for constant care, my dad passing away only four months later and my own ongoing and confusing health issues — too much stress.

The past few months have been better — we’ve both been through a LOT this year especially!

Special thanks to those of you who’ve generously given donations (some of you even more than once) to the site to help defray some of the expenses of running it.

I’m grateful to be alive and very proud of Power Surge and all the women (and men) it’s helped over the years plus all the wonderful women who participate in it 🙂

Alice

And I responded:

To be sitting so close to her…
You mean me…or Barbra? LOL

It was so amazing how that trip worked out. It was the most spontaneous thing I had ever done.

My son was home from grad school for “fall break” formerly known as Columbus Day weekend. He was flying back on Wednesday, through JFK.

After Alice got the tickets for Barbra on Monday (amazing in itself), I was able to get on Michael’s flight to JFK – only one trip to the airport! The flight number was the same as Alice’s street address. Do I hear Twilight Zone music?

What a great birthday gift you got for yourself – thank you so much for sharing it with me 🙂

Happy post-birthday!

From 2007

The top header on the boards:

logo4

Followed by

birthday2007

And Alice said…

Firstly, {{{{{MaryO}}}}, my old and dear friend, thank you for starting this topic and for the beautifully creative graphic and sentiments you made for my birthday. I don’t have to tell you what your friendship has meant to me all these years (you already know). Hugs!

Thank you all for your good wishes. Someone wrote to me, “I hope you had a peaceful birthday.” That’s exactly what it was . . . peaceful.

Thank you also for your kind words about Power Surge. It’s been a labor of love for 14 years . . . about to start its 15th year Feb. 3rd, 2008. I have a pretty good idea how many women’s lives have been impacted by this “community.” In all these years, including the start-up years on America Online, I’ve probably posted in the area of 100,000 messages on the numerous PS message boards. I can’t post as much as I used to any longer for many reasons, but I’m always working in the background to maintain this site that’s become a tremendous source of information and haven of support for all the visitors who come to it every day.

What started out as a blank page in an HTML editor has grown to exactly what I’d planned. I’m very proud of every facet of Power Surge including this message board.

Finally, thank you to all those who have made donations to Power Surge. I have thanked each and every one of you individually. Your donations have been helpful in defraying some of the ever-increasing costs involved with running Power Surge.

Again, thank you.

Best,
Dearest

Then, 2008

dearest-alice-2008

alice-2008

And that’s enough for this year.  I have to save some out 🙂

~~~

So, it’s 20 years since I made that first silly website.  I’m no longer scrambling to get something to post by 12:01 am for your birthday.

I still can’t believe that you won’t be reading this later, calling me when UPS / amazon / FEDex arrives with gifts so we can open them “together”.

We’ve said it once, we’ve said it dozens of times.  Even when we’re apart we’re

foreverfriends

hbalice

alice-miss-you

Happy Birthday   Leave a comment

Adapted from this post: http://www.maryo.co/giving-thanks-day-23-november-9-2017/

 

Today I am so thankful that I had my best friend, my “sister” for so many years.  We shared so much together, good times, bad times, birthdays, secrets, hackers, PITAs.

Last year, I happened to find that restaurant again – Cafe Un Deux Trois and it was so special to me.

We got to our location faster than expected and walked around the block.  I was stunned when we saw Cafe Un Deux Trois!

un-deux

 

Cafe Un Deux Trois has a special memory for me.  November 2, 2003, Michael decided to run the New York Marathon.  We went to NY to see him run.  (He finished in 4:21:57.  The average for males that year was 4:28:56).

marathon

From good-old Wikipedia:

The New York City Marathon (branded TCS New York City Marathon and formerly branded ING New York City Marathon for sponsorship reasons) is an annual marathon (42.195 km or 26.219 mi) that courses through the five boroughs of New York City. It is the largest marathon in the world, with 50,304 finishers in 2013. Along with the Boston Marathon and Chicago Marathon, it is among the pre-eminent long-distance annual running events in the United States and is one of the World Marathon Majors.

My best friend, Alice, and her brother (David) were living in Brooklyn and they decided to meet us in Manhattan on Saturday night.  Michael and a friend went to a comedy show while Alice, David, Tom and I walked around Times Square, just talking.  We turned down a side street and saw… Cafe Un Deux Trois.  We decided to go in to eat.

I remember nothing about the meal.  But, at the next table was Ben Gazzara,  Gena Rowlands, Peter Bogdanovitch and 3-4 others I didn’t recognize.  After about half an hour, Carol Kane came in, too.  It turned out that Ben Gazzara was in a one man show across the street which had just opened: Nobody Don’t Like Yogi.  All this made the meal very exciting.  

For the last several years, every time we’ve been near Times Square, I’ve looked down the side streets for this restaurant and never saw it again until this day.

A very nice memory of Alice.

 

 

bd-alice

 

Another birthday is here and I’ve now passed you age-wise. 😦  I had always taken such delight being able to say that I was the younger one.  Not any more 😦

 

Each year, the non-birthday-girl would be planning and plotting online, as well as real-life, surprises.  We had hand-made wrapping paper and all sorts of exotic and non-exotic gifts.  Right now, I’m wearing a cozy robe from a zillion years ago.

 

Way back in 1998, when I was learning web design, I posted a whole mini-site for that birthday.  Unfortunately, HTML code no longer allows for the music to play, but I had carefully thought out tunes for each day.  The page titles aren’t showing, either.

  • The main page title was “Happy Millennium Birthday, Alice!” and played a simple Happy Birthday  
  • The theme to Perry Mason aka “Peri MasonPause” on the “Flora”  page
  • the “Born” page had the theme to Alice’s Restaurant with no special title
  • the “Robert Redford” page had The Way We Were.  The title was “To Alice, from Bob (with lust)”
  • the “musician and his music” page was Bach’s Toccata and Fugue and the title was “Happy Bachday, Alice!”
  • the “flowers” page was The Rose with no special title

See that site here: http://www.oconnormusic.org/aliceBD/birthday.htm

 

The last page of that site was particularly important.  I’d emailed all of Alice’s past guest speakers and other PS members and compiled this list of great wishes: http://www.oconnormusic.org/aliceBD/guests.htm

We’d be up at 12:01 am, posting wishes, decorating message boards and doing the final touches for websites.

turbanIn 2003, I’d apparently posted a picture of Flora Dora (again!) and Alice responded:

MaryO, what can I say other than that it was a wonderful and beautiful surprise to see my guest announcement area turned into a beautiful, sparkling birthday greeting — and Flora Dora, Power Surge’s mascot and RR — but especially your beautiful wishes.

I responded:

After all these years, it’s getting harder and harder to come up with new ideas for how to do an online surprise. There have been a variety of different things for different birthdays, but I have to keep you guessing   I hope that you don’t mind that I’m holding the announcement area hostage for a little longer.

I’m sure that many of the newer people don’t know who Flora Dora is, but she’s an essential part of Power Surge so she have to be included somehow – kinda like inviting your maiden aunt to Thanksgiving 🙂 Of course, RR is welcome – anytime! I’m so glad that I could make an online surprise for you again this year – maybe I should start planning for NEXT year already.

I hope we share many more birthdays together as the close friends we’ve become over the years.

On a more serious side, you’re very welcome for the “beautiful wishes”.  Sometimes, words fail me and I don’t do things justice, but you and Power Surge have changed my life in so many ways that go beyond “simple” menopause issues. When I first came to Power Surge on AOL, I was a confirmed lurker, reading only, never posting.

The first chat I tried to hide out until you asked me a question, encouraging me to talk. This was all so scary for me, communicating with others – online or off. I can say with confidence, that I’m no longer a lurker on the boards and in the chats like I was, and that was all your doing. Thanks so much for that!

Now I just have to work on my real life lurkership! The knowlege I got here in Power Surge, even when I was lurking, helped me so much with my menopause, my symptoms, my everyday life. Like most everyone else, I learned about the way to help my meno symptoms and I’m so thankful of that, that I could be feeling better.

When my husband was very sick, close to death, my first December in PS, I wouldn’t post, but I would come home from the hospital and read everything that other people were posting. It seemed so great to me, and it was such a comfort to me to know that everyone was out there. I recognized people’s names and enjoyed “listening” to the banter and chatter, and that gave me something other than the hospital and my own worries to think about. No matter what the time of day was, I could always read and see that things were ok with the world, and know that we were going to survive this. What a wonderful community Power Surge is!

Things have come along way since then. My husband made it, thanks to a skilled surgeon and a LOT of prayer. And I gradually changed, too. I’m obviously not afraid to post anymore, or go to chats, and I really have you to thank for that. Over the years there have been many changes, the boards have moved, been started again from scratch, updated, all kinds of things, as have the chats, but one thing remains clear and unchanged – and that Power Surge isn’t just another “website”. It is a true community for women in midlife, something we can gain daily strength from. (sorry about the preposition!)

And it’s all because of you, Dearest Alice Stamm. Thank you so much, and I hope it was a wonderful birthday – you deserve the very best!

Hugs and thanks from the bottom of my heart! Mary

From the message boards in 2004:

online-friend

From 2005:

We have decided to let you accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old again.
If you want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks, that’s great.
If you want to think M&Ms are better than money, because you can eat them, they are calorie-free (today only!).
If you want to lie under a big Oak tree next summer and run a lemonade stand with your friends (and fellow Surgettes) on a hot summers day, we’ll give you a voucher.
That summer-time voucher is also good for walking on the beach and thinking of the sand between your toes and the prettiest seashell you can find. Or you can spend the afternoon climbing trees and riding your bike.
We are returning you to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, addition tables and simple nursery rhymes. But that didn’t bother you, because you didn’t know what you didn’t know and you didn’t care. When all you knew was to be happy because you didn’t know all the things that should make you worried and upset.
You’re going to go to school and have snack time, recess, gym and field trips.
You’ll be so happy, nothing will make you upset.
We’re going to let you think that the world is fair. That everyone in it is honest and good…that anything is possible.
For today, you’re going to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by little things once again, returned to the days when reading was fun.
No worries about time, bills, websites that crash, guest chats where the guest can’t get in, excess email, time….No more worry about computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, aches, pains, doctor visits or illness.
We’re going to help you believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, health, dreams, the imagination, mankind and making angels in the snow.
You’re going to be 6 again, for today (and probably some of us will want to join you!). From all of us…

QUOTE (Dearest @ Nov 10 2005, 09:23 AM)

Thank you all for your warm and wonderful birthday wishes.

A very special thank you to my friend, MaryO, for the beautiful greeting, for including Power Surge’s mascot, Flora Dora at the top of the screen — and especially for allowing me to be six again even if only for a day 🙂

And I said:

You know, you can always apply for an extension of the day being 6. Click here to apply.

Glad you had a great birthday and much-needed vacation. If you want to extend either of those, please let me know and I’ll see if I can locate an extension for either of those.

Happy Post-Birthday!

In 2006, Alice said:

Thank you ALL for your wonderful birthday wishes and beautiful sentiments about how much Power Surge means to and has done for you. That makes all the years of work that’s gone into this “community” worthwhile (with, perhaps, the exception of dealing with HACKERSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!) 🙂

I don’t know some of you very well. Others I know well and have established lovely friendships with. You know who you are. Thank you, too, for your beautiful flowers, birthday cards, online greetings, etc.

And thank you, my dear friend, MaryO, for starting this topic and for being the sister I never had 🙂 I’m so glad I impulsively decided to give myself a birthday present last month and called saying, “C’mon, let’s go to see Streisand!!” That was the highlight of my/our year. To be sitting so close to her, and SO close to and watching people mingle like: Bill and Hillary Clinton, Lauren Bacall, James Brolin, Katie Couric, Stephen Sondheim, Rosie O’Donnell, Sting, Hugh Jackman, Steven Spielberg, Regis and Joy Philbin, Sara Jessica Parker — and many, many others.

It was like the first time we met a few years ago and stopped into a restaurant [Cafe Un Deux Trois] only to find a few minutes later that Gena Rowlands, Ben Gazzara, Peter Bogdonovich, Carol Kane and others, whose names elude me at the moment, came in and sat at the table next to us. Knowing me, I had to go over and talk to them, especially Gena Rowlands, who’s still beautiful and elegant and was so gracious.

The past few years, starting with my emergency surgery and all the ensuing complications, my mom’s fall down the stairs and subsequent need for constant care, my dad passing away only four months later and my own ongoing and confusing health issues — too much stress.

The past few months have been better — we’ve both been through a LOT this year especially!

Special thanks to those of you who’ve generously given donations (some of you even more than once) to the site to help defray some of the expenses of running it.

I’m grateful to be alive and very proud of Power Surge and all the women (and men) it’s helped over the years plus all the wonderful women who participate in it 🙂

Alice

And I responded:

To be sitting so close to her…
You mean me…or Barbra? LOL

It was so amazing how that trip worked out. It was the most spontaneous thing I had ever done.

My son was home from grad school for “fall break” formerly known as Columbus Day weekend. He was flying back on Wednesday, through JFK.

After Alice got the tickets for Barbra on Monday (amazing in itself), I was able to get on Michael’s flight to JFK – only one trip to the airport! The flight number was the same as Alice’s street address. Do I hear Twilight Zone music?

What a great birthday gift you got for yourself – thank you so much for sharing it with me 🙂

Happy post-birthday!

From 2007

The top header on the boards:

logo4

Followed by

birthday2007

And Alice said…

Firstly, {{{{{MaryO}}}}, my old and dear friend, thank you for starting this topic and for the beautifully creative graphic and sentiments you made for my birthday. I don’t have to tell you what your friendship has meant to me all these years (you already know). Hugs!

Thank you all for your good wishes. Someone wrote to me, “I hope you had a peaceful birthday.” That’s exactly what it was . . . peaceful.

Thank you also for your kind words about Power Surge. It’s been a labor of love for 14 years . . . about to start its 15th year Feb. 3rd, 2008. I have a pretty good idea how many women’s lives have been impacted by this “community.” In all these years, including the start-up years on America Online, I’ve probably posted in the area of 100,000 messages on the numerous PS message boards. I can’t post as much as I used to any longer for many reasons, but I’m always working in the background to maintain this site that’s become a tremendous source of information and haven of support for all the visitors who come to it every day.

What started out as a blank page in an HTML editor has grown to exactly what I’d planned. I’m very proud of every facet of Power Surge including this message board.

Finally, thank you to all those who have made donations to Power Surge. I have thanked each and every one of you individually. Your donations have been helpful in defraying some of the ever-increasing costs involved with running Power Surge.

Again, thank you.

Best,
Dearest

Then, 2008

dearest-alice-2008

alice-2008

And that’s enough for this year.  I have to save some out 🙂

~~~

So, it’s 19 years since I made that first silly website.  I’m no longer scrambling to get something to post by 12:01 am for your birthday.

I still can’t believe that you won’t be reading this later, calling me when UPS / amazon / FEDex arrives with gifts so we can open them “together”.

We’ve said it once, we’ve said it dozens of times.  Even when we’re apart we’re

foreverfriends

hbalice

alice-miss-you

Another Birthday…   1 comment

bd-alice

Another birthday is here and I’ve now passed you age-wise. 😦  I had always taken such delight being able to say that I was the younger one.  Not any more 😦

Each year, the non-birthday-girl would be planning and plotting online, as well as real-life, surprises.  We had hand-made wrapping paper and all sorts of exotic and non-exotic gifts.  Right now, I’m wearing a cozy robe from a zillion years ago.

Way back in 1998, when I was learning web design, I posted a whole mini-site for that birthday.  Unfortunately, html code no longer allows for the music to play, but I had carefully thought out tunes for each day.  The page titles aren’t showing, either.

  • The main page title was “Happy Millennium Birthday, Alice!” and played a simple Happy Birthday  
  • The theme to Perry Mason aka “Peri MasonPause” on the “Flora”  page
  • the “Born” page had the theme to Alice’s Restaurant with no special title
  • the “Robert Redford” page had The Way We Were.  The title was “To Alice, from Bob (with lust)”
  • the “musician and his music” page was Bach’s Toccata and Fugue and the title was “Happy Bachday, Alice!”
  • the “flowers” page was The Rose with no special title

See that site here: http://www.oconnormusic.org/aliceBD/birthday.htm

The last page of that site was particularly important.  I’d emailed all of Alice’s past guest speakers and other PS members and compiled this list of great wishes: http://www.oconnormusic.org/aliceBD/guests.htm

We’d be up at 12:01 am, posting wishes, decorating message boards and doing the final touches for websites.

turbanIn 2003, I’d apparently posted a picture of Flora Dora (again!) and Alice responded:

MaryO, what can I say other than that it was a wonderful and beautiful surprise to see my guest announcement area turned into a beautiful, sparkling birthday greeting — and Flora Dora, Power Surge’s mascot and RR — but especially your beautiful wishes.

I responded:

After all these years, it’s getting harder and harder to come up with new ideas for how to do an online surprise. There have been a variety of different things for different birthdays, but I have to keep you guessing   I hope that you don’t mind that I’m holding the announcement area hostage for a little longer.

I’m sure that many of the newer people don’t know who Flora Dora is, but she’s an essential part of Power Surge so she have to be included somehow – kinda like inviting your maiden aunt to Thanksgiving 🙂 Of course, RR is welcome – anytime! I’m so glad that I could make an online surprise for you again this year – maybe I should start planning for NEXT year already.

I hope we share many more birthdays together as the close friends we’ve become over the years.

On a more serious side, you’re very welcome for the “beautiful wishes”.  Sometimes, words fail me and I don’t do things justice, but you and Power Surge have changed my life in so many ways that go beyond “simple” menopause issues. When I first came to Power Surge on AOL, I was a confirmed lurker, reading only, never posting.

The first chat I tried to hide out until you asked me a question, encouraging me to talk. This was all so scary for me, communicating with others – online or off. I can say with confidence, that I’m no longer a lurker on the boards and in the chats like I was, and that was all your doing. Thanks so much for that!

Now I just have to work on my real life lurkership! The knowlege I got here in Power Surge, even when I was lurking, helped me so much with my menopause, my symptoms, my everyday life. Like most everyone else, I learned about the way to help my meno symptoms and I’m so thankful of that, that I could be feeling better.

When my husband was very sick, close to death, my first December in PS, I wouldn’t post, but I would come home from the hospital and read everything that other people were posting. It seemed so great to me, and it was such a comfort to me to know that everyone was out there. I recognized people’s names and enjoyed “listening” to the banter and chatter, and that gave me something other than the hospital and my own worries to think about. No matter what the time of day was, I could always read and see that things were ok with the world, and know that we were going to survive this. What a wonderful community Power Surge is!

Things have come along way since then. My husband made it, thanks to a skilled surgeon and a LOT of prayer. And I gradually changed, too. I’m obviously not afraid to post anymore, or go to chats, and I really have you to thank for that. Over the years there have been many changes, the boards have moved, been started again from scratch, updated, all kinds of things, as have the chats, but one thing remains clear and unchanged – and that Power Surge isn’t just another “website”. It is a true community for women in midlife, something we can gain daily strength from. (sorry about the preposition!)

And it’s all because of you, Dearest Alice Stamm. Thank you so much, and I hope it was a wonderful birthday – you deserve the very best!

Hugs and thanks from the bottom of my heart! Mary

From the message boards in 2004:

online-friend

From 2005:

We have decided to let you accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old again.
If you want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks, that’s great.
If you want to think M&Ms are better than money, because you can eat them, they are calorie-free (today only!).
If you want to lie under a big Oak tree next summer and run a lemonade stand with your friends (and fellow Surgettes) on a hot summers day, we’ll give you a voucher.
That summer-time voucher is also good for walking on the beach and thinking of the sand between your toes and the prettiest seashell you can find. Or you can spend the afternoon climbing trees and riding your bike.
We are returning you to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, addition tables and simple nursery rhymes. But that didn’t bother you, because you didn’t know what you didn’t know and you didn’t care. When all you knew was to be happy because you didn’t know all the things that should make you worried and upset.
You’re going to go to school and have snack time, recess, gym and field trips.
You’ll be so happy, nothing will make you upset.
We’re going to let you think that the world is fair. That everyone in it is honest and good…that anything is possible.
For today, you’re going to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by little things once again, returned to the days when reading was fun.
No worries about time, bills, websites that crash, guest chats where the guest can’t get in, excess email, time….No more worry about computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, aches, pains, doctor visits or illness.
We’re going to help you believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, health, dreams, the imagination, mankind and making angels in the snow.
You’re going to be 6 again, for today (and probably some of us will want to join you!). From all of us…

QUOTE (Dearest @ Nov 10 2005, 09:23 AM)

Thank you all for your warm and wonderful birthday wishes.

A very special thank you to my friend, MaryO, for the beautiful greeting, for including Power Surge’s mascot, Flora Dora at the top of the screen — and especially for allowing me to be six again even if only for a day 🙂

And I said:

You know, you can always apply for an extension of the day being 6. Click here to apply.

Glad you had a great birthday and much-needed vacation. If you want to extend either of those, please let me know and I’ll see if I can locate an extension for either of those.

Happy Post-Birthday!

In 2006, Alice said:

Thank you ALL for your wonderful birthday wishes and beautiful sentiments about how much Power Surge means to and has done for you. That makes all the years of work that’s gone into this “community” worthwhile (with, perhaps, the exception of dealing with HACKERSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!) 🙂

I don’t know some of you very well. Others I know well and have established lovely friendships with. You know who you are. Thank you, too, for your beautiful flowers, birthday cards, online greetings, etc.

And thank you, my dear friend, MaryO, for starting this topic and for being the sister I never had 🙂 I’m so glad I impulsively decided to give myself a birthday present last month and called saying, “C’mon, let’s go to see Streisand!!” That was the highlight of my/our year. To be sitting so close to her, and SO close to and watching people mingle like: Bill and Hillary Clinton, Lauren Bacall, James Brolin, Katie Couric, Stephen Sondheim, Rosie O’Donnell, Sting, Hugh Jackman, Steven Spielberg, Regis and Joy Philbin, Sara Jessica Parker — and many, many others.

It was like the first time we met a few years ago and stopped into a restaurant only to find a few minutes later that Gena Rowlands, Ben Gazzara, Peter Bogdonovich, Carol Kane and others, whose names elude me at the moment, came in and sat at the table next to us. Knowing me, I had to go over and talk to them, especially Gena Rowlands, who’s still beautiful and elegant and was so gracious.

The past few years, starting with my emergency surgery and all the ensuing complications, my mom’s fall down the stairs and subsequent need for constant care, my dad passing away only four months later and my own ongoing and confusing health issues — too much stress.

The past few months have been better — we’ve both been through a LOT this year especially!

Special thanks to those of you who’ve generously given donations (some of you even more than once) to the site to help defray some of the expenses of running it.

I’m grateful to be alive and very proud of Power Surge and all the women (and men) it’s helped over the years plus all the wonderful women who participate in it 🙂

Alice

And I responded:

To be sitting so close to her…
You mean me…or Barbra? LOL

It was so amazing how that trip worked out. It was the most spontaneous thing I had ever done.

My son was home from grad school for “fall break” formerly known as Columbus Day weekend. He was flying back on Wednesday, through JFK.

After Alice got the tickets for Barbra on Monday (amazing in itself), I was able to get on Michael’s flight to JFK – only one trip to the airport! The flight number was the same as Alice’s street address. Do I hear Twilight Zone music?

What a great birthday gift you got for yourself – thank you so much for sharing it with me 🙂

Happy post-birthday!

From 2007

The top header on the boards:

logo4

Followed by

birthday2007

And Alice said…

Firstly, {{{{{MaryO}}}}, my old and dear friend, thank you for starting this topic and for the beautifully creative graphic and sentiments you made for my birthday. I don’t have to tell you what your friendship has meant to me all these years (you already know). Hugs!

Thank you all for your good wishes. Someone wrote to me, “I hope you had a peaceful birthday.” That’s exactly what it was . . . peaceful.

Thank you also for your kind words about Power Surge. It’s been a labor of love for 14 years . . . about to start its 15th year Feb. 3rd, 2008. I have a pretty good idea how many women’s lives have been impacted by this “community.” In all these years, including the start-up years on America Online, I’ve probably posted in the area of 100,000 messages on the numerous PS message boards. I can’t post as much as I used to any longer for many reasons, but I’m always working in the background to maintain this site that’s become a tremendous source of information and haven of support for all the visitors who come to it every day.

What started out as a blank page in an HTML editor has grown to exactly what I’d planned. I’m very proud of every facet of Power Surge including this message board.

Finally, thank you to all those who have made donations to Power Surge. I have thanked each and every one of you individually. Your donations have been helpful in defraying some of the ever-increasing costs involved with running Power Surge.

Again, thank you.

Best,
Dearest

Then, 2008

dearest-alice-2008

alice-2008

And that’s enough for this year.  I have to save some out 🙂

~~~

So, it’s 17 years since I made that first silly website.  I’m still scrambling to get something to post by 12:01 am for your birthday.

I still can’t believe that you won’t be reading this later, calling me when UPS / amazon / FEDex arrives with gifts so we can open them “together”.

We’ve said it once, we’ve said it dozens of times.  Even when we’re apart we’re

foreverfriends

hbalice

alice-miss-you

Happy Birthday, Alice ~ November 9, 2015   Leave a comment

bd-alice

 

Another birthday is here and I’ve now passed you age-wise. 😦  I had always taken such delight being able to say that I was the younger one.  Not any more 😦

Each year, the non-birthday-girl would be planning and plotting online, as well as real-life, surprises.  We had hand-made wrapping paper and all sorts of exotic and non-exotic gifts.  Right now, I’m wearing a cozy robe from a zillion years ago.

Way back in 1998, when I was learning web design, I posted a whole mini-site for that birthday.  Unfortunately, html code no longer allows for the music to play, but I had carefully thought out tunes for each day.  The page titles aren’t showing, either.

  • The main page title was “Happy Millennium Birthday, Alice!” and played a simple Happy Birthday  
  • The theme to Perry Mason aka “Peri MasonPause” on the “Flora”  page
  • the “Born” page had the theme to Alice’s Restaurant with no special title
  • the “Robert Redford” page had The Way We Were.  The title was “To Alice, from Bob (with lust)”
  • the “musician and his music” page was Bach’s Toccata and Fugue and the title was “Happy Bachday, Alice!”
  • the “flowers” page was The Rose with no special title

See that site here: http://www.oconnormusic.org/aliceBD/birthday.htm

The last page of that site was particularly important.  I’d emailed all of Alice’s past guest speakers and other PS members and compiled this list of great wishes: http://www.oconnormusic.org/aliceBD/guests.htm

We’d be up at 12:01 am, posting wishes, decorating message boards and doing the final touches for websites.

turbanIn 2003, I’d apparently posted a picture of Flora Dora (again!) and Alice responded:

MaryO, what can I say other than that it was a wonderful and beautiful surprise to see my guest announcement area turned into a beautiful, sparkling birthday greeting — and Flora Dora, Power Surge’s mascot and RR — but especially your beautiful wishes.

I responded:

After all these years, it’s getting harder and harder to come up with new ideas for how to do an online surprise. There have been a variety of different things for different birthdays, but I have to keep you guessing   I hope that you don’t mind that I’m holding the announcement area hostage for a little longer.

I’m sure that many of the newer people don’t know who Flora Dora is, but she’s an essential part of Power Surge so she have to be included somehow – kinda like inviting your maiden aunt to Thanksgiving 🙂 Of course, RR is welcome – anytime! I’m so glad that I could make an online surprise for you again this year – maybe I should start planning for NEXT year already.

I hope we share many more birthdays together as the close friends we’ve become over the years.

On a more serious side, you’re very welcome for the “beautiful wishes”.  Sometimes, words fail me and I don’t do things justice, but you and Power Surge have changed my life in so many ways that go beyond “simple” menopause issues. When I first came to Power Surge on AOL, I was a confirmed lurker, reading only, never posting.

The first chat I tried to hide out until you asked me a question, encouraging me to talk. This was all so scary for me, communicating with others – online or off. I can say with confidence, that I’m no longer a lurker on the boards and in the chats like I was, and that was all your doing. Thanks so much for that!

Now I just have to work on my real life lurkership! The knowlege I got here in Power Surge, even when I was lurking, helped me so much with my menopause, my symptoms, my everyday life. Like most everyone else, I learned about the way to help my meno symptoms and I’m so thankful of that, that I could be feeling better.

When my husband was very sick, close to death, my first December in PS, I wouldn’t post, but I would come home from the hospital and read everything that other people were posting. It seemed so great to me, and it was such a comfort to me to know that everyone was out there. I recognized people’s names and enjoyed “listening” to the banter and chatter, and that gave me something other than the hospital and my own worries to think about. No matter what the time of day was, I could always read and see that things were ok with the world, and know that we were going to survive this. What a wonderful community Power Surge is!

Things have come along way since then. My husband made it, thanks to a skilled surgeon and a LOT of prayer. And I gradually changed, too. I’m obviously not afraid to post anymore, or go to chats, and I really have you to thank for that. Over the years there have been many changes, the boards have moved, been started again from scratch, updated, all kinds of things, as have the chats, but one thing remains clear and unchanged – and that Power Surge isn’t just another “website”. It is a true community for women in midlife, something we can gain daily strength from. (sorry about the preposition!)

And it’s all because of you, Dearest Alice Stamm. Thank you so much, and I hope it was a wonderful birthday – you deserve the very best!

Hugs and thanks from the bottom of my heart! Mary

From the message boards in 2004:

online-friend

From 2005:

We have decided to let you accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old again.
If you want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks, that’s great.
If you want to think M&Ms are better than money, because you can eat them, they are calorie-free (today only!).
If you want to lie under a big Oak tree next summer and run a lemonade stand with your friends (and fellow Surgettes) on a hot summers day, we’ll give you a voucher.
That summer-time voucher is also good for walking on the beach and thinking of the sand between your toes and the prettiest seashell you can find. Or you can spend the afternoon climbing trees and riding your bike.
We are returning you to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, addition tables and simple nursery rhymes. But that didn’t bother you, because you didn’t know what you didn’t know and you didn’t care. When all you knew was to be happy because you didn’t know all the things that should make you worried and upset.
You’re going to go to school and have snack time, recess, gym and field trips.
You’ll be so happy, nothing will make you upset.
We’re going to let you think that the world is fair. That everyone in it is honest and good…that anything is possible.
For today, you’re going to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by little things once again, returned to the days when reading was fun.
No worries about time, bills, websites that crash, guest chats where the guest can’t get in, excess email, time….No more worry about computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, aches, pains, doctor visits or illness.
We’re going to help you believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, health, dreams, the imagination, mankind and making angels in the snow.
You’re going to be 6 again, for today (and probably some of us will want to join you!). From all of us…

QUOTE (Dearest @ Nov 10 2005, 09:23 AM)

Thank you all for your warm and wonderful birthday wishes.

A very special thank you to my friend, MaryO, for the beautiful greeting, for including Power Surge’s mascot, Flora Dora at the top of the screen — and especially for allowing me to be six again even if only for a day 🙂

And I said:

You know, you can always apply for an extension of the day being 6. Click here to apply.

Glad you had a great birthday and much-needed vacation. If you want to extend either of those, please let me know and I’ll see if I can locate an extension for either of those.

Happy Post-Birthday!

In 2006, Alice said:

Thank you ALL for your wonderful birthday wishes and beautiful sentiments about how much Power Surge means to and has done for you. That makes all the years of work that’s gone into this “community” worthwhile (with, perhaps, the exception of dealing with HACKERSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!) 🙂

I don’t know some of you very well. Others I know well and have established lovely friendships with. You know who you are. Thank you, too, for your beautiful flowers, birthday cards, online greetings, etc.

And thank you, my dear friend, MaryO, for starting this topic and for being the sister I never had 🙂 I’m so glad I impulsively decided to give myself a birthday present last month and called saying, “C’mon, let’s go to see Streisand!!” That was the highlight of my/our year. To be sitting so close to her, and SO close to and watching people mingle like: Bill and Hillary Clinton, Lauren Bacall, James Brolin, Katie Couric, Stephen Sondheim, Rosie O’Donnell, Sting, Hugh Jackman, Steven Spielberg, Regis and Joy Philbin, Sara Jessica Parker — and many, many others.

It was like the first time we met a few years ago and stopped into a restaurant only to find a few minutes later that Gena Rowlands, Ben Gazzara, Peter Bogdonovich, Carol Kane and others, whose names elude me at the moment, came in and sat at the table next to us. Knowing me, I had to go over and talk to them, especially Gena Rowlands, who’s still beautiful and elegant and was so gracious.

The past few years, starting with my emergency surgery and all the ensuing complications, my mom’s fall down the stairs and subsequent need for constant care, my dad passing away only four months later and my own ongoing and confusing health issues — too much stress.

The past few months have been better — we’ve both been through a LOT this year especially!

Special thanks to those of you who’ve generously given donations (some of you even more than once) to the site to help defray some of the expenses of running it.

I’m grateful to be alive and very proud of Power Surge and all the women (and men) it’s helped over the years plus all the wonderful women who participate in it 🙂

Alice

And I responded:

To be sitting so close to her…
You mean me…or Barbra? LOL

It was so amazing how that trip worked out. It was the most spontaneous thing I had ever done.

My son was home from grad school for “fall break” formerly known as Columbus Day weekend. He was flying back on Wednesday, through JFK.

After Alice got the tickets for Barbra on Monday (amazing in itself), I was able to get on Michael’s flight to JFK – only one trip to the airport! The flight number was the same as Alice’s street address. Do I hear Twilight Zone music?

What a great birthday gift you got for yourself – thank you so much for sharing it with me 🙂

Happy post-birthday!

From 2007

The top header on the boards:

logo4

Followed by

birthday2007

And Alice said…

Firstly, {{{{{MaryO}}}}, my old and dear friend, thank you for starting this topic and for the beautifully creative graphic and sentiments you made for my birthday. I don’t have to tell you what your friendship has meant to me all these years (you already know). Hugs!

Thank you all for your good wishes. Someone wrote to me, “I hope you had a peaceful birthday.” That’s exactly what it was . . . peaceful.

Thank you also for your kind words about Power Surge. It’s been a labor of love for 14 years . . . about to start its 15th year Feb. 3rd, 2008. I have a pretty good idea how many women’s lives have been impacted by this “community.” In all these years, including the start-up years on America Online, I’ve probably posted in the area of 100,000 messages on the numerous PS message boards. I can’t post as much as I used to any longer for many reasons, but I’m always working in the background to maintain this site that’s become a tremendous source of information and haven of support for all the visitors who come to it every day.

What started out as a blank page in an HTML editor has grown to exactly what I’d planned. I’m very proud of every facet of Power Surge including this message board.

Finally, thank you to all those who have made donations to Power Surge. I have thanked each and every one of you individually. Your donations have been helpful in defraying some of the ever-increasing costs involved with running Power Surge.

Again, thank you.

Best,
Dearest

Then, 2008

dearest-alice-2008

alice-2008

And that’s enough for this year.  I have to save some out 🙂

~~~

So, it’s 17 years since I made that first silly website.  I’m still scrambling to get something to post by 12:01 am for your birthday.

I still can’t believe that you won’t be reading this later, calling me when UPS / amazon / FEDex arrives with gifts so we can open them “together”.

We’ve said it once, we’ve said it dozens of times.  Even when we’re apart we’re

foreverfriends

hbalice

 

alice-miss-you

Happy Birthday, Alice ~ November 9, 2014   1 comment

bd-alice

Another birthday is here and I’ve caught up on you age-wise. 😦

Each year, the non-birthday-girl would be planning and plotting online, as well as real-life, surprises.  We had hand-made wrapping paper and all sorts of exotic and non-exotic gifts.  Right now, I’m wearing a cozy robe from a zillion years ago.

Way back in 1998, when I was learning web design, I posted a whole mini-site for that birthday.  Unfortunately, html code no longer allows for the music to play, but I had carefully thought out tunes for each day.  The page titles aren’t showing, either.

  • The main page title was “Happy Millennium Birthday, Alice!” and played a simple Happy Birthday  
  • The theme to Perry Mason aka “Peri MasonPause” on the “Flora”  page
  • the “Born” page had the theme to Alice’s Restaurant with no special title
  • the “Robert Redford” page had The Way We Were.  The title was “To Alice, from Bob (with lust)”
  • the “musician and his music” page was Bach’s Toccata and Fugue and the title was “Happy Bachday, Alice!”
  • the “flowers” page was The Rose with no special title

See that site here: http://www.oconnormusic.org/aliceBD/birthday.htm

The last page of that site was particularly important.  I’d emailed all of Alice’s past guest speakers and other PS members and compiled this list of great wishes: http://www.oconnormusic.org/aliceBD/guests.htm

We’d be up at 12:01 am, posting wishes, decorating message boards and doing the final touches for websites.

turbanIn 2003, I’d apparently posted a picture of Flora Dora (again!) and Alice responded:

MaryO, what can I say other than that it was a wonderful and beautiful surprise to see my guest announcement area turned into a beautiful, sparkling birthday greeting — and Flora Dora, Power Surge’s mascot and RR — but especially your beautiful wishes.

I responded:

After all these years, it’s getting harder and harder to come up with new ideas for how to do an online surprise. There have been a variety of different things for different birthdays, but I have to keep you guessing   I hope that you don’t mind that I’m holding the announcement area hostage for a little longer.

I’m sure that many of the newer people don’t know who Flora Dora is, but she’s an essential part of Power Surge so she have to be included somehow – kinda like inviting your maiden aunt to Thanksgiving 🙂 Of course, RR is welcome – anytime! I’m so glad that I could make an online surprise for you again this year – maybe I should start planning for NEXT year already.

I hope we share many more birthdays together as the close friends we’ve become over the years.

On a more serious side, you’re very welcome for the “beautiful wishes”.  Sometimes, words fail me and I don’t do things justice, but you and Power Surge have changed my life in so many ways that go beyond “simple” menopause issues. When I first came to Power Surge on AOL, I was a confirmed lurker, reading only, never posting.

The first chat I tried to hide out until you asked me a question, encouraging me to talk. This was all so scary for me, communicating with others – online or off. I can say with confidence, that I’m no longer a lurker on the boards and in the chats like I was, and that was all your doing. Thanks so much for that!

Now I just have to work on my real life lurkership! The knowlege I got here in Power Surge, even when I was lurking, helped me so much with my menopause, my symptoms, my everyday life. Like most everyone else, I learned about the way to help my meno symptoms and I’m so thankful of that, that I could be feeling better.

When my husband was very sick, close to death, my first December in PS, I wouldn’t post, but I would come home from the hospital and read everything that other people were posting. It seemed so great to me, and it was such a comfort to me to know that everyone was out there. I recognized people’s names and enjoyed “listening” to the banter and chatter, and that gave me something other than the hospital and my own worries to think about. No matter what the time of day was, I could always read and see that things were ok with the world, and know that we were going to survive this. What a wonderful community Power Surge is!

Things have come along way since then. My husband made it, thanks to a skilled surgeon and a LOT of prayer. And I gradually changed, too. I’m obviously not afraid to post anymore, or go to chats, and I really have you to thank for that. Over the years there have been many changes, the boards have moved, been started again from scratch, updated, all kinds of things, as have the chats, but one thing remains clear and unchanged – and that Power Surge isn’t just another “website”. It is a true community for women in midlife, something we can gain daily strength from. (sorry about the preposition!)

And it’s all because of you, Dearest Alice Stamm. Thank you so much, and I hope it was a wonderful birthday – you deserve the very best!

Hugs and thanks from the bottom of my heart! Mary

From the message boards in 2004:

online-friend

From 2005:

We have decided to let you accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old again.
If you want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks, that’s great.
If you want to think M&Ms are better than money, because you can eat them, they are calorie-free (today only!).
If you want to lie under a big Oak tree next summer and run a lemonade stand with your friends (and fellow Surgettes) on a hot summers day, we’ll give you a voucher.
That summer-time voucher is also good for walking on the beach and thinking of the sand between your toes and the prettiest seashell you can find. Or you can spend the afternoon climbing trees and riding your bike.
We are returning you to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, addition tables and simple nursery rhymes. But that didn’t bother you, because you didn’t know what you didn’t know and you didn’t care. When all you knew was to be happy because you didn’t know all the things that should make you worried and upset.
You’re going to go to school and have snack time, recess, gym and field trips.
You’ll be so happy, nothing will make you upset.
We’re going to let you think that the world is fair. That everyone in it is honest and good…that anything is possible.
For today, you’re going to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by little things once again, returned to the days when reading was fun.
No worries about time, bills, websites that crash, guest chats where the guest can’t get in, excess email, time….No more worry about computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, aches, pains, doctor visits or illness.
We’re going to help you believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, health, dreams, the imagination, mankind and making angels in the snow.
You’re going to be 6 again, for today (and probably some of us will want to join you!). From all of us…

QUOTE (Dearest @ Nov 10 2005, 09:23 AM)

Thank you all for your warm and wonderful birthday wishes.

A very special thank you to my friend, MaryO, for the beautiful greeting, for including Power Surge’s mascot, Flora Dora at the top of the screen — and especially for allowing me to be six again even if only for a day 🙂

And I said:

You know, you can always apply for an extension of the day being 6. Click here to apply.

Glad you had a great birthday and much-needed vacation. If you want to extend either of those, please let me know and I’ll see if I can locate an extension for either of those.

Happy Post-Birthday!

In 2006, Alice said:

Thank you ALL for your wonderful birthday wishes and beautiful sentiments about how much Power Surge means to and has done for you. That makes all the years of work that’s gone into this “community” worthwhile (with, perhaps, the exception of dealing with HACKERSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!) 🙂

I don’t know some of you very well. Others I know well and have established lovely friendships with. You know who you are. Thank you, too, for your beautiful flowers, birthday cards, online greetings, etc.

And thank you, my dear friend, MaryO, for starting this topic and for being the sister I never had 🙂 I’m so glad I impulsively decided to give myself a birthday present last month and called saying, “C’mon, let’s go to see Streisand!!” That was the highlight of my/our year. To be sitting so close to her, and SO close to and watching people mingle like: Bill and Hillary Clinton, Lauren Bacall, James Brolin, Katie Couric, Stephen Sondheim, Rosie O’Donnell, Sting, Hugh Jackman, Steven Spielberg, Regis and Joy Philbin, Sara Jessica Parker — and many, many others.

It was like the first time we met a few years ago and stopped into a restaurant only to find a few minutes later that Gena Rowlands, Ben Gazzara, Peter Bogdonovich, Carol Kane and others, whose names elude me at the moment, came in and sat at the table next to us. Knowing me, I had to go over and talk to them, especially Gena Rowlands, who’s still beautiful and elegant and was so gracious.

The past few years, starting with my emergency surgery and all the ensuing complications, my mom’s fall down the stairs and subsequent need for constant care, my dad passing away only four months later and my own ongoing and confusing health issues — too much stress.

The past few months have been better — we’ve both been through a LOT this year especially!

Special thanks to those of you who’ve generously given donations (some of you even more than once) to the site to help defray some of the expenses of running it.

I’m grateful to be alive and very proud of Power Surge and all the women (and men) it’s helped over the years plus all the wonderful women who participate in it 🙂

Alice

And I responded:

To be sitting so close to her…
You mean me…or Barbra? LOL

It was so amazing how that trip worked out. It was the most spontaneous thing I had ever done.

My son was home from grad school for “fall break” formerly known as Columbus Day weekend. He was flying back on Wednesday, through JFK.

After Alice got the tickets for Barbra on Monday (amazing in itself), I was able to get on Michael’s flight to JFK – only one trip to the airport! The flight number was the same as Alice’s street address. Do I hear Twilight Zone music?

What a great birthday gift you got for yourself – thank you so much for sharing it with me 🙂

Happy post-birthday!

From 2007

The top header on the boards:

logo4

Followed by

birthday2007

And Alice said…

Firstly, {{{{{MaryO}}}}, my old and dear friend, thank you for starting this topic and for the beautifully creative graphic and sentiments you made for my birthday. I don’t have to tell you what your friendship has meant to me all these years (you already know). Hugs!

Thank you all for your good wishes. Someone wrote to me, “I hope you had a peaceful birthday.” That’s exactly what it was . . . peaceful.

Thank you also for your kind words about Power Surge. It’s been a labor of love for 14 years . . . about to start its 15th year Feb. 3rd, 2008. I have a pretty good idea how many women’s lives have been impacted by this “community.” In all these years, including the start-up years on America Online, I’ve probably posted in the area of 100,000 messages on the numerous PS message boards. I can’t post as much as I used to any longer for many reasons, but I’m always working in the background to maintain this site that’s become a tremendous source of information and haven of support for all the visitors who come to it every day.

What started out as a blank page in an HTML editor has grown to exactly what I’d planned. I’m very proud of every facet of Power Surge including this message board.

Finally, thank you to all those who have made donations to Power Surge. I have thanked each and every one of you individually. Your donations have been helpful in defraying some of the ever-increasing costs involved with running Power Surge.

Again, thank you.

Best,
Dearest

Then, 2008

dearest-alice-2008

alice-2008

And that’s enough for this year.  I have to save some out 🙂

~~~

So, it’s 15 years since I made that first silly website.  I’m still scrambling to get something to post by 12:01 am for your birthday.

I still can’t believe that you won’t be reading this later, calling me when UPS / amazon / FEDex arrives with gifts so we can open them “together”.

We’ve said it once, we’ve said it dozens of times.  Even when we’re apart we’re

foreverfriends

hbalice

Happy Birthday, Alice ~ November 9, 2013   Leave a comment

bd-alice

Another birthday is here and I’m catching up on you age-wise. 😦

Each year, the non-birthday-girl would be planning and plotting online, as well as real-life, surprises.  We had hand-made wrapping paper and all sorts of exotic and non-exotic gifts.  Right now, I’m wearing a cozy robe from a zillion years ago.

Way back in 1998, when I was learning web design, I posted a whole mini-site for that birthday.  Unfortunately, html code no longer allows for the music to play, but I had carefully thought out tunes for each day.  The page titles aren’t showing, either.

  • The main page title was “Happy Millenium Birthday, Alice!” and played a simple Happy Birthday  
  • The theme to Perry Mason aka “Peri MasonPause” on the “Flora”  page
  • the “Born” page had the theme to Alice’s Restaurant with no special title
  • the “Robert Redford” page had The Way We Were.  The title was “To Alice, from Bob (with lust)”
  • the “musician and his music” page was Bach’s Toccata and Fugue and the title was “Happy Bachday, Alice!”
  • the “flowers” page was The Rose with no special title

See that site here: http://www.oconnormusic.org/aliceBD/birthday.htm

The last page of that site was particularly important.  I’d emailed all of Alice’s past guest speakers and other PS members and compiled this list of great wishes: http://www.oconnormusic.org/aliceBD/guests.htm

We’d be up at 12:01 am, posting wishes, decorating message boards and doing the final touches for websites.

turbanIn 2003, I’d apparently posted a picture of Flora Dora (again!) and Alice responded:

MaryO, what can I say other than that it was a wonderful and beautiful surprise to see my guest announcement area turned into a beautiful, sparkling birthday greeting — and Flora Dora, Power Surge’s mascot and RR — but especially your beautiful wishes.

I responded:

After all these years, it’s getting harder and harder to come up with new ideas for how to do an online surprise. There have been a variety of different things for different birthdays, but I have to keep you guessing   I hope that you don’t mind that I’m holding the announcement area hostage for a little longer.

I’m sure that many of the newer people don’t know who Flora Dora is, but she’s an essential part of Power Surge so she have to be included somehow – kinda like inviting your maiden aunt to Thanksgiving 🙂 Of course, RR is welcome – anytime! I’m so glad that I could make an online surprise for you again this year – maybe I should start planning for NEXT year already.

I hope we share many more birthdays together as the close friends we’ve become over the years.

On a more serious side, you’re very welcome for the “beautiful wishes”.  Sometimes, words fail me and I don’t do things justice, but you and Power Surge have changed my life in so many ways that go beyond “simple” menopause issues. When I first came to Power Surge on AOL, I was a confirmed lurker, reading only, never posting.

The first chat I tried to hide out until you asked me a question, encouraging me to talk. This was all so scary for me, communicating with others – online or off. I can say with confidence, that I’m no longer a lurker on the boards and in the chats like I was, and that was all your doing. Thanks so much for that!

Now I just have to work on my real life lurkership! The knowlege I got here in Power Surge, even when I was lurking, helped me so much with my menopause, my symptoms, my everyday life. Like most everyone else, I learned about the way to help my meno symptoms and I’m so thankful of that, that I could be feeling better.

When my husband was very sick, close to death, my first December in PS, I wouldn’t post, but I would come home from the hospital and read everything that other people were posting. It seemed so great to me, and it was such a comfort to me to know that everyone was out there. I recognized people’s names and enjoyed “listening” to the banter and chatter, and that gave me something other than the hospital and my own worries to think about. No matter what the time of day was, I could always read and see that things were ok with the world, and know that we were going to survive this. What a wonderful community Power Surge is!

Things have come along way since then. My husband made it, thanks to a skilled surgeon and a LOT of prayer. And I gradually changed, too. I’m obviously not afraid to post anymore, or go to chats, and I really have you to thank for that. Over the years there have been many changes, the boards have moved, been started again from scratch, updated, all kinds of things, as have the chats, but one thing remains clear and unchanged – and that Power Surge isn’t just another “website”. It is a true community for women in midlife, something we can gain daily strength from. (sorry about the preposition!)

And it’s all because of you, Dearest Alice Stamm. Thank you so much, and I hope it was a wonderful birthday – you deserve the very best!

Hugs and thanks from the bottom of my heart! Mary

From the message boards in 2004:

online-friend

From 2005:

We have decided to let you accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old again.
If you want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks, that’s great.
If you want to think M&Ms are better than money, because you can eat them, they are calorie-free (today only!).
If you want to lie under a big Oak tree next summer and run a lemonade stand with your friends (and fellow Surgettes) on a hot summers day, we’ll give you a voucher.
That summer-time voucher is also good for walking on the beach and thinking of the sand between your toes and the prettiest seashell you can find. Or you can spend the afternoon climbing trees and riding your bike.
We are returning you to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, addition tables and simple nursery rhymes. But that didn’t bother you, because you didn’t know what you didn’t know and you didn’t care. When all you knew was to be happy because you didn’t know all the things that should make you worried and upset.
You’re going to go to school and have snack time, recess, gym and field trips.
You’ll be so happy, nothing will make you upset.
We’re going to let you think that the world is fair. That everyone in it is honest and good…that anything is possible.
For today, you’re going to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by little things once again, returned to the days when reading was fun.
No worries about time, bills, websites that crash, guest chats where the guest can’t get in, excess email, time….No more worry about computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, aches, pains, doctor visits or illness.
We’re going to help you believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, health, dreams, the imagination, mankind and making angels in the snow.
You’re going to be 6 again, for today (and probably some of us will want to join you!). From all of us…

QUOTE (Dearest @ Nov 10 2005, 09:23 AM)

Thank you all for your warm and wonderful birthday wishes.

A very special thank you to my friend, MaryO, for the beautiful greeting, for including Power Surge’s mascot, Flora Dora at the top of the screen — and especially for allowing me to be six again even if only for a day 🙂

And I said:

You know, you can always apply for an extension of the day being 6. Click here to apply.

Glad you had a great birthday and much-needed vacation. If you want to extend either of those, please let me know and I’ll see if I can locate an extension for either of those.

Happy Post-Birthday!

In 2006, Alice said:

Thank you ALL for your wonderful birthday wishes and beautiful sentiments about how much Power Surge means to and has done for you. That makes all the years of work that’s gone into this “community” worthwhile (with, perhaps, the exception of dealing with HACKERSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!) 🙂

I don’t know some of you very well. Others I know well and have established lovely friendships with. You know who you are. Thank you, too, for your beautiful flowers, birthday cards, online greetings, etc.

And thank you, my dear friend, MaryO, for starting this topic and for being the sister I never had 🙂 I’m so glad I impulsively decided to give myself a birthday present last month and called saying, “C’mon, let’s go to see Streisand!!” That was the highlight of my/our year. To be sitting so close to her, and SO close to and watching people mingle like: Bill and Hillary Clinton, Lauren Bacall, James Brolin, Katie Couric, Stephen Sondheim, Rosie O’Donnell, Sting, Hugh Jackman, Steven Spielberg, Regis and Joy Philbin, Sara Jessica Parker — and many, many others.

It was like the first time we met a few years ago and stopped into a restaurant only to find a few minutes later that Gena Rowlands, Ben Gazzara, Peter Bogdonovich, Carol Kane and others, whose names elude me at the moment, came in and sat at the table next to us. Knowing me, I had to go over and talk to them, especially Gena Rowlands, who’s still beautiful and elegant and was so gracious.

The past few years, starting with my emergency surgery and all the ensuing complications, my mom’s fall down the stairs and subsequent need for constant care, my dad passing away only four months later and my own ongoing and confusing health issues — too much stress.

The past few months have been better — we’ve both been through a LOT this year especially!

Special thanks to those of you who’ve generously given donations (some of you even more than once) to the site to help defray some of the expenses of running it.

I’m grateful to be alive and very proud of Power Surge and all the women (and men) it’s helped over the years plus all the wonderful women who participate in it 🙂

Alice

And I responded:

To be sitting so close to her…
You mean me…or Barbra? LOL

It was so amazing how that trip worked out. It was the most spontaneous thing I had ever done.

My son was home from grad school for “fall break” formerly known as Columbus Day weekend. He was flying back on Wednesday, through JFK.

After Alice got the tickets for Barbra on Monday (amazing in itself), I was able to get on Michael’s flight to JFK – only one trip to the airport! The flight number was the same as Alice’s street address. Do I hear Twilight Zone music?

What a great birthday gift you got for yourself – thank you so much for sharing it with me 🙂

Happy post-birthday!

From 2007

The top header on the boards:

logo4

Followed by

birthday2007

And Alice said…

Firstly, {{{{{MaryO}}}}, my old and dear friend, thank you for starting this topic and for the beautifully creative graphic and sentiments you made for my birthday. I don’t have to tell you what your friendship has meant to me all these years (you already know). Hugs!

Thank you all for your good wishes. Someone wrote to me, “I hope you had a peaceful birthday.” That’s exactly what it was . . . peaceful.

Thank you also for your kind words about Power Surge. It’s been a labor of love for 14 years . . . about to start its 15th year Feb. 3rd, 2008. I have a pretty good idea how many women’s lives have been impacted by this “community.” In all these years, including the start-up years on America Online, I’ve probably posted in the area of 100,000 messages on the numerous PS message boards. I can’t post as much as I used to any longer for many reasons, but I’m always working in the background to maintain this site that’s become a tremendous source of information and haven of support for all the visitors who come to it every day.

What started out as a blank page in an HTML editor has grown to exactly what I’d planned. I’m very proud of every facet of Power Surge including this message board.

Finally, thank you to all those who have made donations to Power Surge. I have thanked each and every one of you individually. Your donations have been helpful in defraying some of the ever-increasing costs involved with running Power Surge.

Again, thank you.

Best,
Dearest

Then, 2008

dearest-alice-2008

alice-2008

And that’s enough for this year.  I have to save some out 🙂

~~~

So, it’s 15 years since I made that first silly website.  I’m still scrambling to get something to post by 12:01 am for your birthday.

I still can’t believe that you won’t be reading this later, calling me when UPS / amazon / FEDex arrives with gifts so we can open them “together”.

We’ve said it once, we’ve said it dozens of times.  Even when we’re apart we’re

foreverfriends

hbalice

Stress and Adrenal Health   1 comment

 

Have you recently experienced a major stress in your life, be it illness, job, death, children, etc? After this stress, have you felt as though you just cannot seem to get yourself together, or at least back to where you used to be? Are you usually tired when you wake up, but still “too wired” to fall asleep at night? Is it hard for you to relax or to get exercise? Do you find that you get sick more often and take a long time to get well? If so, then you, like many other Americans may be experiencing symptoms of Adrenal Fatigue.

Adrenal fatigue is not a new condition. People have been experiencing this condition for years. Although there is increasing physician awareness, many are not familiar with adrenal fatigue as a distinct syndrome. Because of this lack of knowledge, patients suffer because they are not properly diagnosed or treated.

Adrenal fatigue is a condition in which the adrenal glands function at a sub-optimal level when patients are at rest, under stress, or in response to consistent, intermittent, or sporadic demands. The adrenal glands are two small glands that sit over the kidneys and are responsible for secreting over 50 different hormones—including epinephrine, cortisol, progesterone, DHEA, estrogen, and testosterone. Over the past century, adrenal fatigue has been recognized as Non-Addison’s hypoadrenia, subclinical hypoadrenia, neurasthenia, adrenal neurasthenia, and adrenal apathy.

Generally patients who present with adrenal fatigue can often be heard saying, “After______, I was never the same.” The onset of adrenal fatigue often occurs because of financial pressures, infections, emotional stress, smoking, drugs, poor eating habits, sugar and white flour products, unemployment and several other stressors. After experiencing many of these events over a long period of time, the adrenal glands tend to produce less cortisol, the body’s master stress hormone. Cortisol’s main role in the body is to enable us to handle stress and maintain our immune systems. The adrenal gland’s struggle to meet the high demands of cortisol production eventually leads to adrenal fatigue.

Patients with adrenal fatigue have a distinct energy pattern. They are usually very fatigued in the morning, not really waking up until 10 AM, and will not usually feel fully awake until after a noon meal. They experience a diurnal lull in their cortisol (the stress hormone produced by the adrenal gland) and as a result, they feel low during the afternoon, generally around 2-4 PM. Patients generally begin to feel better after 6 PM; however, they are usually tired after 9 and in bed by 11 PM These patients find that they work best late at night or early in the morning.

Some key signs and symptoms of adrenal fatigue include salt cravings, increased blood sugar under stress, increased PMS, perimenopausal, or menopausal symptoms under stress, mild depression, lack of energy, decreased ability to handle stress, muscle weakness, absent mindedness, decreased sex drive, mild constipation alternating with diarrhea, as well as many others.

Although there no specific tests that will provide a true diagnosis of adrenal fatigue there are tests that may contribute to an assessment, such as a postural hypotension test, an AM cortisol test, or an ACTH stimulation test. It is customary for a physician to assess the adrenals together with thyroid tests to rule out insufficiency, which sometimes occurs in long-standing hypothyroidism.

A single determination of plasma cortisol or 24-hour urinary free cortisol excretion is not useful and may be misleading in diagnosing adrenal insufficiency. However, if the patient is severely stressed or in shock, a single depressed plasma cortisol determination is highly suggestive. An elevated plasma ACTH level in association with a low plasma cortisol level is diagnostic.

Treatment for adrenal fatigue is relatively simple. Lifestyle modifications can be initiated to treat this condition. Simple changes such as more laughter (increases the parasympathetic supply to the adrenals), small breaks to lie down, increased relaxation, regular meals, exercise (avoiding any highly competitive events), early bedtimes and sleeping until at least 9 AM whenever possible can all benefit those experiencing adrenal fatigue.

A diet that would be conducive to treating adrenal fatigue includes one that combines unrefined carbohydrates (whole grains) with protein and oils (nuts and seeds) at most meals—olive, walnut, fiber, flax and high-quality fish oil. It is also important for patients to eat regular meals, chew food well, and eat by 10 AM and again for lunch. Patients should look to avoid any hydrogenated fats, caffeine, chocolate, white carbohydrates, and junk foods. Diets should have a heavy emphasis on vegetables. It may be of additional benefit that patients add salt to their diet, especially upon rising and at least a half-hour before their lowest energy point of the day. (Preferably, 1/8 to 1/2 teaspoonful of sea salt, Celtic salt, or sea salt w/kelp powder added to an 8 oz glass of water). In adrenal fatigue, one should not follow the USDA’s Food Guide Pyramid, as these patients tolerate fewer carbohydrates and need more protein.

The addition of nutritional supplements may also offer additional benefits to patients experiencing adrenal fatigue. They should consider the addition of:

  • Vitamin C 2,000-4,000 mg/day Sustained Release
  • Vitamin E w/mixed tocopherols 800 IU/day
  • Vitamin B complex
  • Niacin (125-150 mg/day) – as inositol hexaniacinate
  • B-6 (150 mg/day)
  • Pantothenic acid (1200-1500 mg/day)
  • Magnesium citrate (400-1200 mg)
  • Liquid trace minerals (zinc, manganese, selenium, chromium, molybdenum, copper, iodine)– calming effect
  • If depression is present – Add SAM.e 200 mg bid; DL-Phenylalanine (DLPA) 500 mg bid

Some herbal remedies that have been noted as possible therapies include Licorice, Ashwagandha, Maca, Siberian Ginseng, Korean Ginseng. Note: Licorice can and, if taken over time, does have a propensity to elevate blood pressure. It should not be used in persons with a history of hypertension, renal failure, or who currently use digitalis preparations such as digoxin.

Under the supervision of a physician hormone supplementation with DHEA, Pregnenolone, and Progesterone may also offer some benefits. There are several glandular extracts on the market that contain adrenal, hypothalamus, pituitary, thyroid, and gonadal that are also often recommended.

Sometimes the initiation of hydrocortisone (Cortef®) may be necessary as a replacement hormone when cortisol is not being produced by the adrenals. While the initiation of corticosteroids, such as hydrocortisone may have quick and dramatic results, they can sometimes make the adrenals weaker rather than stronger. As a result, the initiation of hydrocortisone is usually a last resort. It is important to note that patients may have to undergo treatment for 6 months to 2 years.

While a cortisol measurement may be helpful to confirm any thoughts or ideas that a patient may have decreased adrenal function, typically blood cortisol levels would be tested along with blood levels of potassium, and sodium. If the pituitary gland is the cause of adrenal failure electrolyte levels are usually normal. Practitioners usually pay attention to extremely low cortisol levels, which generally diagnoses Addison’s disease—a condition in which the adrenal glands are completely depleted, also considered a medical emergency.

From http://www.power-surge.com/educate/adrenalfatigue.htm

Menopause and Stress, Adrenal Health   Leave a comment

As a society, we are acutely exposed to daily stresses, be they emotional, physical, or mental. Work situations, family changes and obligations, changes in our bodies and in our health–all of these can contribute to the stress demands on our bodies. Our bodies respond to these stresses in a similar fashion despite the source. Physiologically, each time we are exposed to stresses, our adrenal glands respond by producing certain hormones. One part of the adrenal gland, the adrenal cortex, responds to long and short-term stresses, while the adrenal medulla responds to sudden or alarm situations, producing our “fight or flight” response. With the amount of stress we are exposed to each day, you’d think our adrenal glands were of considerable size, but that isn’t the case. Our adrenals weigh about 5 grams each and reside in our bodies just above our kidneys in the low back area. For small glands, they play an enormous role in our health. Their function also tends to decline over a person’s lifetime, leading some researchers to coin a new term “adrenapause” to define this loss. As such, we need to have ways in which we can keep our adrenal glands healthy.

From a preventive standpoint, we can reduce our exposure to certain stresses, as well as change the degree to which we allow stresses to affect us. This involves making choices about what we subject ourselves to, as well as how we respond to situations we can’t avoid or change. The amounts of hormones, specifically glucocorticoids and catecholamines, that are released by the adrenal glands are directly related to the amount of stress the body endures, and these hormones can affect nearly all the tissues in our bodies. Individuals exposed to long-term stress have higher circulating glucocorticoids than a person who is unstressed does. Certain lifestyle changes, such as exercise, meditation, breathing exercises, and yoga, have all been demonstrated to ease our response to stress. Those who incorporate one or more of these into their days are noticeably more resilient to daily stresses.

We can also address adrenal health through nutritional support and herbs. Vitamin C and the B-complex vitamins are crucial to adrenal health. Being water-soluble vitamins, they are easily depleted and may need regular supplementation, especially in times of stress. Vitamin C is stored in high concentrations in the adrenal glands, which is evidence of its need for this important vitamin. It has been shown that a person’s need for vitamin C varies, depending on what their body is going through at the time. Infection, for an example, can increase the body’s need for vitamin C considerably. Herbs which address adrenal health are referred to as adaptogens, because they help the body adapt to changes, or stresses. Some of the most notable herbs utilized for adrenal support are licorice, ginseng, and astragalus. Astragalus has long been used in Chinese medicine as a tonic. Research has demonstrated its value in enhancing immunity through multiple mechanisms. Ginsengs are commonly prescribed to increase energy and support adrenal function. Research has demonstrated improved functioning under stress as well as increased working capacity following ginseng use. For women, Siberian ginseng appears to be the most appropriate of the ginsengs, as from a Chinese medicine perspective, it is more cooling (less likely to induce hot flashes) and can be used on a regular basis. Borage leaf also provides specific support to the adrenal cortex and can be used daily to support adrenal health.

Diet is another factor that plays a strong role, as it can supply the body with nutrients as well as deplete the adrenals, depending on what choices are made. For example, sugar and caffeine tend to draw energy from the adrenal glands, so stay away from them during times of stress or if you are working at improving adrenal health. In contrast, nutrients that are found in fresh fruits and vegetables supply healthy support for the body. Nutrient-rich foods, like kelp and other seaweed, are good sources of key vitamins and minerals important to glandular health.

A balanced program for supporting adrenal health includes scheduling time to exercise and taking some time for you to be mindful of your stress level and facilitate adjustments when necessary. Remember that treating health holistically means addressing mental, physical, and spiritual aspects of one’s life, for they all affect one another and can contribute to health as well as disease.

  • Murray M, Pizzorno J. “Stress management.” In Encyclopedia of Natural Medicine 2nd Ed. Prima Publ., Rocklin, CA, 1998.
  • Stipanuk M. Biochemical and Physiological Aspects of Human Nutrition. WB Saunders, Philadelphia, PA, 2000.
  • Ginter E. “Optimum intake of vitamin C for the human organism.” Nutr Health 1982;1:66-77.
  • Wallace E. “Adaptogenic herbs: nature’s solution to stress.” Nutr Sci News 1998;3(5):244-250.
  • Fulder SJ. “Ginseng and the hypothalamic–pituitary control of stress.” Am J Chin Med, 1981:9(2):112-8.
  • Whorwood CB, Sheppard MC, Stewart PM. “Licorice inhibits 11 beta–hydroxysteroid dehydrogenase messenger ribonucleic acid levels and potentiates glucocorticoid hormone action.” Endocrinology 1993;132(6):2287-92.
  • Zhos K, et al. “Enhancement of the immune response in mice by Astragalus membranaceus extracts.” Immunophamacol 1990;20(3):225-33.
  • Yang Y, et al. “Effect of Astragalus membranaceus on natural killer cell activity and induction with Coxsackie B viral myocarditis.” Chin Med J 1990;103(4):304-307.
  • Filaretov A, et al. “Role of pituitary-adrenocortical system to body adaptation abilities.” Exp Clin Endocrinol 1988;92(2):129-36.
  • Fulder SJ. “Ginseng and the hypothalamic–pituitary control of stress.” Am J Chin Med, 1981;9(2):112-8.
  • Bensky, D, Gamble, A. Chinese Herbal Medicine Materia Medica. Eastland Press, Seattle, Washington, 1993.
  • Hoffman, D. The Herbal Handbook. Healing Arts Press, Vermont, 1988.
  • Murray M, Pizzorno J. “Stress management.” In Encyclopedia of Natural Medicine 2nd Ed. Prima Publ., Rocklin, CA, 1998.
  • Neve J. “Clinical implications of trace elements in endocrinology.” Biol Trace Elem Res 1992:32:173-85.
  • Stahl W, Schwarz W, Sundquist AR, Sies H. “Cis-trans isomers of lycopene and beta-carotene in human serum and tissues.” Arch Biochem Biophys, 1992:294(1):173-7.

 

Dry Skin and Menopause   2 comments

Tips For Midlife Dry Skin Issues
by Dearest

Many women at menopause suffer from dry skin problems. I’ve tried everything including the most expensive and promising creams by Lancome, Elizabeth Arden, Estee Lauder — even a cream called — “Very Emollient Cream” by Clinique. The bottom line with moisturizers is that they CAN’T ADD MOISTURE to your skin. What they do is KEEP IN the moisture that’s already there and my question becomes, if it’s not already there, what’s to keep in?

The bottom line is to drink lots of water! Also, keep oil in your diet.

Some of my favorite products for cleansing and moisturizing have water as their #1 ingredient — they are aqueous products. Aqueous simply means that it’s made from, or by means of, water. Water is the most important moisture we need in our bodies, not just applied externally. That’s why drinking as much water as possible is the most helpful thing you can do for your skin externally and your body’s organs internally. If you look at many skin preparations, water is listed almost at the top of the list of ingredients.

You can also start adding oil to your diet. During the menopausal years, our bodies become depleted of oils. You can take a Tbsp of any of the “good” oils, such as canola, safflower, sunflower, olive and swallow it, add it to your salad, or cook with it. Don’t be afraid of oils. This is not the time of life to deprive yourself of oil in your diet. Go to the recommendations page and read about Omega-3 oils and flaxseed oil and how important they are — not only to your heart and general health, but for your skin.

Aquafor is an excellent product for dry skin — probably good because its #1 ingredient is petrolatum, aka vaseline. The only negative about petrolatum products is obvious – they can feel greasy. If you use a petrolatum-based cream, separate a tissue and use 1/2 to gently blot the skin. An excellent product for dry, patchy areas – that you can carry in your purse and apply any time and there’s no greasy residue is Lubriderm’s Advanced Therapy Creamy Lotion for Extra Dry Skin. It’s inexpensive and lubricates nicely. Lubriderm makes excellent products for dry skin. There’s also Moisturel for hands and body. I don’t use any of these for the entire face, but just certain dry, scaly, patchy areas. Another excellent cream is Cetaphil.

Look for products containing at least one of these ingredients fairly high on the list: petrolatum, water, lanolin, and/or mineral oil. Another excellent product for very dry skin is Eucerin. Their original moisturizing cream or their dry skin therapy plus intensive repair cream.

A REALLY IMPORTANT TIP: After cleaning your face, leave a little of the water on your skin — and then apply the moisturizer while your skin is still damp.

I wash my face with an Aqueous Cream, which I found in England. What I like about an aqueous cleanser is that I can rinse it off with water and it still leaves my skin feeling dewy and clean. Many women don’t care for cleansing creams because they feel greasy even after you tissue off the remaining residue. There are cleansing creams you can either tissue or wash off. One of them is Adrienne Arpel’s Signature Club A’s various Meltdown creams. However, there are many good cleansing creams available. There are other aqueous cleansers, such as Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser.

During perimenopause, I developed dry skin on both sides of my nose, under my eyebrows and on my chin. What I’ve found helps more than anything else is regularly using an exfoliant to peel away the layers of dry, dead skin. I regularly use a gentle Buf-Puff around those dry areas. A product helpful for these areas, and for anti-aging, is called Olay’s Regenerist cream or lotion. You’ll pay almost $20.00 for it in a retail store. I bought 3 bottles for under $30.00 on Ebay. I, personally, prefer the creamy lotion to the cream.

Among my favorite products for skin are those by Adrienne Arpel. She’s been around for many years and is one of the nation’s leading skin experts. In fact, I remember having a skin analysis done by HER at Macy’s years ago. She used to appear at the various department stores demonstrating her products. I’ve never seen a savvier businesswoman in my life. Her skin products are the only thing I’ve ever bought from Home Shopping Network on cable TV. They also they have a Web site. Her products are called “Signature Club A” by Adriene Arpel under HSN. I especially like her Five Essentials Face Cream with Retinol and Alpha Hydroxy and her Advanced Formula – Five Essentials Face Cream with Vinoplex and Grape Polyphenols. At the top of each container of cream is an eye formula as well. I also use her Alpha Hydroxy and Retinol Soft Scrub with Vanilla Bean, which is also an exfoliant. It’s an excellent exfoliant containing little microbeads that clean away dry/dead skin.

Another good exfoliant is Neutrogena’s New Deep Clean Gentle Scrub. It does a nice job exfoliating and the beads are large and powerful (unlike Olay’s exfoliant). I realize you can fill your house with thousands of these products until you find the best ones, which is why I’m sharing the names of those I’ve found that work best.

For dry and normal skin, after using a good cleanser, you should use a toner — even if the dryness is around the mouth. A toner will set the ph of your skin back to the proper balance and make it more receptive to the moisturizer you’re going to apply and at midlife, women really need a good skin moisturizer.

You can also use an exfoliant on your hands. They’re great for making your hands look less dry and, therefore, younger. Take a look at your hands right now. See the small dry lines and how much older they look then they did a few years ago? That’s aging. Exfoliants can work wonders. I use Olay’s Regenerist Cream on my hands and forearms every day.

I’ve also used Lancome creams for years. I started 25 years ago with Progres Cream, which is no longer available. Now that I’m in my 50’s, an excellent Lancome moisturizer is called Renergie – Double Performance Treatment, Anti-wrinkle and Firming Cream. Your skin feels incredibly dewy and soft. If you purchase it in a department store, such as Macy’s, Bloomingdale’s or Nordstrom, the cost for a 1.7 oz. jar is approximately $70.00. I’ve purchased it on Ebay for less than half the retail cost.

It’s important to alternate skin care products and shampoos periodically since our skin and hair have a tendency to become immune to them after a while, and they lose their effectiveness. I recommend alternating the products you use. Also, avoid any shampoo that says “detergent” on it.

For severely dry skin and chapped lips, someone recommended a product called Bag Balm. Believe it or not, Bag Balm is primarily used to keep a cow’s udders moist. While doing some research on the product, I was astonished at how many people used it on their skin. When I’ve developed severely chapped lips that haven’t been helped by the traditional Chap Stick or Blistex, Bag Balm has worked.

Needless to say, continual and/or severe dry skin problems should be looked at by a dermatologist. Dry skin can also come from various medications, from not enough water and/or lubrication in the body and, of course, from low estrogen levels. If skin problems persist, or are aggravated by the use of OTC preparations and creams, see a dermatologist. Dry, patchy, scaly skin could be indicative of any number of health issues including anxiety (yes, anxiety can cause dry skin), allergies, eczema, psoriasis, seborrhea, rosacea and many other skin disorders for which there are numerous OTC and prescription creams.

Important Tips for Midlife/Menopausal Skin:

  • Drink plenty of water (at least 5 – 8 oz. glasses a day)
  • Incorporate *healthy oils* into your diet
  • Cleanse your skin morning and night
  • Avoid soaps, especially deodorant soaps
  • Apply moisturizer morning and night
  • Avoid too much sun exposure
  • Wear sunscreen with at least an SPF25 whenever possible
  • Try to avoid stress
  • Other options for skin improvement: Soy Protein / Isoflavones
    and natural, plant-derived bioidentical hormones.